My wife Beth

My wife Beth,
  I never thought I'd be a blood doner. But I was a blood doner to the ground- my friends where blood donors. The dirt road looked like Jesus came down and turned the dirt into red wine. When I close my eyes I don't see black I see red blood. I feel it. I smell it. I hear it. As if my weak veins where longing for more blood to live so much it actually pictured some to see if it found snatch it from my imagination. I would like to call it the bloodiest battle- but I wish i I knew that was the truth.
 I wish I was with you. I miss my family so much sometimes i wish I did not have one- not because I don't love you, because I love you all so much and the pain is to unbearable. Send my love to my father and don't mention my pain.
 I hate that I love what I'm fighting for. I Hate that I miss you so much. I hate that I can't see you. Joes died yesterday from loss of blood. He was the one that kept me going. He was brave and never said no. The pool of blood under my feet was so sickening yellow fever seemed like heaven. You never now how cruel this world is until you see what I saw. But if the world was not cruel we would not know what God was saving us from.
 Send my love. I will not die in this war- I will die next to you so that I may have a happy death. I wil see you soon. I promise.
   Orlin

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